i want to get so good at giving sly digs that you dont even realize i insulted you until like a week later when you randomly start crying while eating breakfast
i thought this was a fake smash bros reveal
what do u mean fake
i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M A “ONE-UPPER”?
I MEAN THAT YOU EXAGGERATE OR OUTRIGHT LIE, NOT ONLY TO MAKE YOURSELF SEEM FAR MORE INTERESTING THAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE, BUT ALSO OUT OF A MISGUIDED SPIRIT OF COMPETITIVENESS AND/OR ENVY. THAT YOU WILL NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO JUST ENJOY SOMEONE ELSE’S EXPERIENCES AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS BECAUSE IT ERRONEOUSLY MAKES YOU FEEL INFERIOR, SO YOU FABRICATE WIDLY IMPROBABLE TALES TO SUIT YOUR NEED FOR SITUATIONAL DOMINANCE. THAT IS WHAT I MEAN BY THAT.
I DON’T DO THAT.
I’D ARGUE, BUT I HAVE A DATE AT 5:30 AND I NEED TO GET READY.
WELL THAT’S FINE WITH ME, BECAUSE I HAVE TWO DATES AT 5:30.
IT’S JUST RECIPES FOR BIG CANDY.
ARE YOU SEEING THIS?
HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL CREATION OF MANKIND
THIS IS A ROLO THE SIZE OF A FUCKING BIRTHDAY CAKE AND IF THAT’S NOT THE TIGHTEST SHIT EVER THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE
PIMP THAT SNACK
JUST FUCKING DO IT.
I wonder if they have something for Oreos.
look if you unironically say ‘money can’t buy happiness’ then either you’ve never faced a real financial struggle or you’ve achieved enlightenment, because goddamn does financial security feel an awful lot like happiness when it’s something you’re not used to
reblogging like the fist of an angry god.