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animalstalkinginallcaps:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M A “ONE-UPPER”?

I MEAN THAT YOU EXAGGERATE OR OUTRIGHT LIE, NOT ONLY TO MAKE YOURSELF SEEM FAR MORE INTERESTING THAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE, BUT ALSO OUT OF A MISGUIDED SPIRIT OF COMPETITIVENESS AND/OR ENVY. THAT YOU WILL NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO JUST ENJOY SOMEONE ELSE’S EXPERIENCES AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS BECAUSE IT ERRONEOUSLY MAKES YOU FEEL INFERIOR, SO YOU FABRICATE WIDLY IMPROBABLE TALES TO SUIT YOUR NEED FOR SITUATIONAL DOMINANCE. THAT IS WHAT I MEAN BY THAT.

I DON’T DO THAT.

I’D ARGUE, BUT I HAVE A DATE AT 5:30 AND I NEED TO GET READY.

WELL THAT’S FINE WITH ME, BECAUSE I HAVE TWO DATES AT 5:30.

HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS INCREDIBLE WEBSITE??!??!

super-natural73:

dirkhardpeck:

rudeandgingersansa:

nannajane:

PIMP. THAT. SNACK.

IT’S JUST RECIPES FOR BIG CANDY.

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BIG CANDY

ARE YOU SEEING THIS?

imageHOLY MOTHER OF FUCK LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL CREATION OF MANKIND

imageTHIS IS A ROLO THE SIZE OF A FUCKING BIRTHDAY CAKE AND IF THAT’S NOT THE TIGHTEST SHIT EVER THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE

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GOD DAMN

PIMP THAT SNACK

JUST FUCKING DO IT.

imageWOW

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I wonder if they have something for Oreos.

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they do.

(Source: paradoxsleuth)

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